If you’re a parent who’s about to get a
divorce or who is recently divorced, you’re going to face a lot of unknowns,
this we know for a fact. It doesn’t matter if you’re the father
who’s suddenly going to find himself living alone without his kids,
or a stay-at-home mother who has to put her young children in daycare
so she can go back to work – things are going to change.
Perhaps one of the most painful aspects of divorce is how it affects circumstances
involving your children. However, it is possible to navigate the unknown
waters of single parenthood and come out the other end intact. It is possible
to have a thriving relationship with your children, even though you no
longer share the same roof with their mother or father.
Our advice to help ensure success as a single or mother after divorce:
Consider a joint custody arrangement.
These days, California courts encourage joint
custody arrangements where both parents share equally in the child raising responsibilities.
If your child’s other parent is a loving mother or father, try to
work out a joint custody arrangement that you can live with. This way,
the children maintain frequent contact with both of you.
Avoid moving far away.
If your children will be living with the other parent more of the time
and you’ll be the one paying child support, we suggest staying close
to your children’s home. If you move to another county or state,
it will make it harder to see your children all the time. The best way
to ensure a quality relationship with your kids is to stay physically
close to them.
Spend a lot of quality time with your children.
Divorce can be very hard on children, and it’s not uncommon for
them to blame themselves for the divorce or act out. During this time
of transition, spend a lot of quality time with your children. It will
be good for them and it will be good for your soul too.
Learn how to help your kids cope.
If your children are over the age of three, they may have a difficult
time coping with the divorce as their family lives are disrupted. If you
struggle to deal with their feelings, seek out a therapist or find some
books on the subject of children and divorce.
Stay connected when you’re far away.
Some jobs require that parents travel frequently. If you’re on the
road a lot or in the military, you have to work harder to stay connected
to your kids. We recommend using Skype, FaceTime, Facebook and other tools
to speak to your kids face-to-face but via devices. You may not be in
person, but these methods are the next best thing.
We sincerely hope this advice helps you as a single parent. If you need
legal representation with a
family law issue in San Diego,
contact Claery & Hammond, LLP today!