As San Diego divorce attorneys, we've seen and heard it all; nothing surprises us anymore. However, there are definitely complaints from spouses that we hear over (and over). Most clients we've counseled reported seeing "warning signs" early in their relationship that eventually contributed to the breakdown of their marriage.
For example, many spouses who file for divorce say that their spouse frequently criticized them, belittled them, or otherwise put them down. They also said they kept arguing about the same issues repeatedly over the course of the marriage.
All too often, married couples will eventually become emotionally detached. They'll loss respect, fondness, and admiration for each other over time. As the admiration fades away, so does the feeling of love for one another.
Sweeping Problems Under the Rug
When married couples sweep their issues under the rug, it only lasts for so long. Eventually, deep-seated resentment and contempt build up to the point where it's nearly impossible to practice forgiveness.
Let's say a couple has been married for six years and they decided to get marriage counseling because they can't seem to communicate and they have been chronically dissatisfied with the union. After meeting with the counselor, it becomes apparent that the couple lacks emotional and sexual intimacy, both of which enhance the harmony between spouses.
Author and therapist Claire Hatch put it this way, "If you're bottling up feelings of sadness or anger, you end up suppressing your feelings. You'll find yourself feeling less joy and love, as well." Understandably, such feelings lead to diminished intimacy.
All married couples have issues, even those who appear to be the "perfect couple" on the outside. Many relationship experts agree that the key to a happy marriage is the willingness to communicate and be vulnerable. When chronic dissatisfaction isn't addressed head-on by both spouses, the lack of love can lead straight to divorce court.
If your spouse is unwilling to attend marriage counseling or "work" on the marriage, and you're weighing your divorce options, contact our firm for a free consultation.