divorce were “easier,” we’d probably see a lot more of it. Divorce
is difficult, not necessarily because couples break up, but because there
is so much
child custody to putting the house on the market, to boxing up a whole house with 5,
10, or 20 years of memories, to changing utilities, and gathering financial
documents, divorce is difficult mainly because it takes so much to get
untangled with one’s spouse.
In fact, a lot of our clients tell us how they had a divorce on their minds
for a long time before someone pulled the trigger or “threw in the
towel” so to speak. Often, people delay their divorce filings simply
because it seems easier to hold off than it does to go through the process
of divorce. They’re not necessarily wrong, but staying in a bad
marriage does not lead to emotional fulfillment or happiness – we
don’t need to tell you that.
When You Want a ‘Good’ Divorce
When a divorce is messy and emotional, it can wreak havoc on virtually
every aspect of a person’s life. A stressful divorce tends to impact
people physically, emotionally, and financially, which is why we believe
that a contested, litigated divorce, should be avoided if at all possible.
The best way to minimize the effects of a divorce is to have a collaborative
divorce, one where you and your spouse work together to reach a resolution
that everyone can be satisfied with. Collaborative divorce doesn’t
necessarily mean you and your spouse agree on every point. But it does
mean that you work together until you reach a practical resolution. To
help you achieve that goal, here’s some great advice to take to heart:
- Be nice. Treat your spouse with kindness and respect and ask them to do
the same. This one thing alone can make all the difference.
- Play fair. It’s impractical to try and “nail your spouse”
so you get everything and they get nothing.
- If you want to date, consider discussing it with your spouse so you can
agree on how to conduct yourselves. If you don’t want to bring it
up, be discreet and avoid taking dates to places your spouse will frequent.
- Do not post anything on social media about you partying or dating. This
can upset your spouse and derail your collaborative divorce.
- Do not badmouth your spouse to your kids, neighbors, or people in your
community. Keep the details between you and your closest friends and family,
not acquaintances who can spread rumors.
- Treat your divorce like a business transaction. When you do business, sometimes
you have to do it with people you don’t like, but you still have
to conduct yourself in a professional manner – divorce should be
handled the same way.
To meet with a member of our legal team,
contact Claery & Hammond, LLP today. All of our initial consultations are free!